Friday, November 9, 2012

Episode 1, Silence is golden

There are many reasons for silence in an office, from heavy work load and concentration, right through to bad feeling and tension. Here at Dynamic, its not often that hard work is the cause of the office falling silent.

On this particular day, some tale telling has created bad feeling in the control room, and we are about to find out what has happened, and how the day will unfold.

For a long time now, there has been a crackdown on 'unauthorised noises' in the office. From typing too heavily or fast, to obnoxious ringtones, the policy of Dynamic Distribution doesn't allow for any noises not listed in the handbook to exceed a certain level. With the exception of the screech of Hakkim's fake laugh from time to time, the rules are usually observed. However recently with the discovery of a little video site called YouTube, some of the staff have become a little distracted. To the point where they have become excitable with the content, and turned their volume up a little too much.

Needless to say, in any office there is always at least one person who likes to tell tales, and the control room is no exception. Lately, due to a furious popularity contest, and a battle to become teachers pet, many members of staff spend an increasing amount of time kneeling before the manager, in the hope of becoming number one snitch.

Today, following one such visit to The Boss, Dave has returned to the office pretending all is well, and acting like nothing has happened. However Boss has sent an email to all control room staff, reminding us of the company policy on unauthorised noise, which has left a bad taste with some. Sadly for Dave, one of the members of another team within Dynamic, as we call them The Packing Crew, overheard the conversation and was kind enough to feed it back to the rest of us here in the control room. Amazingly, even though 100% outed by the packers, Dave has remained steadfast in his behaviour, and is pretending that nothing has happened.

To the amusement of the rest of the staff, especially Hakkim, Sebastian and Lester, Dave has spent the day floundering about, befriending everyone, and trying to appease the control room staff. Cracking jokes, and doing other annoying things to in any way try and deflect attention away from himself. Needless to say, its not worked very well. At one point he even adjusted the climate control settings in the office to create a diversion and alternative talking point, but this was thwarted by me, who simply returned the settings to normal before it became an issue. I wouldn't like people distracted from such a good focal point after all.

Whatever the cause, in a way I'm glad it happened, as it has been a nice peaceful day here, free of music, laugher and over baring voices engaged in excitable conversation.

Thankfully it is Friday, and once the day is over the members of the office can escape the hell that is each others company for a couple of days, and return on Monday as fresh as possible, and carrying as little hatred and malice over from the previous week as possible. Sometimes easier said than done thought eh!

I hope you have enjoyed this quick glimpse into the workings of the Control Room here at Dynamic Distribution, and will come back soon to see what other weird, wacky and wonderful things have happened.

Welcome to 'The Office'

Allow me to introduce myself and the rest of the 'cast' of this new online day to day drama blog.
The idea came about during my time working in an office, and the stories are taken from my day to day life experiences.
Of course all the people and events are fictitious, and any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental.

The Office is based in the control room of a large distribution company. Filled with colourful characters from all walks of life, it is not uncommon for personalities to clash, and opinions to vary. The outcome of these events can go in any direction, and will usually take an interesting turn, as I'm sure you will see along the way.

So allow me to introduce you to the team. There is the main control room staff, and a number of other occasional staff who figure in the stories. So starting with the guys in the control room.

First there is Dave, long time employee of the company in various roles, and quite simply absolutely bonkers. Craziness ranging from fun childish behaviour, to full blown paranoia, you never know what to expect from Dave from one day to the next. Always outgoing, and having something to say, Dave will keep you on your toes, and rest assured he will play a part in most major stories.

Next up we have Hakkim, again he has been loyal to the company for some time now, and has experience in a lot of departments, having systematically worked his way through most roles in the business, he has a great understanding of how the business works, and is more than qualified to assess and judge peoples performance. Hakkim has a personal agenda, and is not afraid to put work on hold while personal things are taken care of. His love of women and cars is no secret to the rest of the office, and creep up in the tales from time to time.

Sebastian, as the name might suggest is the quiet, yet surprising member of the team. Keeping himself to himself, but occasionally striking with the speed and intensity of a shark. Sebastian is truly a ladies man, but not one to brag. Instead he will reflect on a fun night out with nothing more that the start of a story, followed by a smile that ends it for you. Cocooned from the goings on in the office on a day to day basis, Sebastian has learned to tune out from the drama surrounding him, making work far more bearable. However from time to time he will break free of this cocoon to strike, and strike hard. Honest and to the point, that's Sebastian.

Barry, Barry..... Barry. I really don't know where to start with him. The wild card of the team, and i use the term loosely. Wild card as in different and the odd one out, not so much a wild character. Having worked on the logistics team until near retirement, Barry is now seeing out his remaining days with the company completely out of his depth. Technology, in fact all things modern perplex Barry, so to be fair he struggles on a daily basis. Life is not made any easier by the fact of 'English' not being his first language. Having grown up in the West-country, verbal communication is not one of his better qualities. Made worse by being almost profoundly deaf, conversations with Barry are a struggle at the best of times.

 Jim, another of the elders of the office, or Farmer Jim as he is known by the others, is the chief of the crew, but prefers to keep his distance from the rest of them, and tries to avoid working in the same office as everyone else whenever possible. A 16yr old mind in the body of a 60yr old man, Jim will always try and fight his battle with adulthood, and most of the time he succeeds. Immature yet harmless, Jim is always finding ways to stay young, but failing most of time time. Like Barry he struggles with tech, and things such as Facebook remain a mystery to him.

Finally there is Tarquin, aka The Tarquinator. Nobody is quite sure how Tarquin came about, everyone knows his history throughout the company, but no one can work out his origin. With a mentality like the Terminator, (hence his nickname), as soon as he is tasked with something, it becomes a mission, and shall not be left incomplete. From the simple things in life like choosing lunch, through to meetings with senior staff, Tarquin is a machine. Looked upon by other with eyes of confusion and sometimes pity, no one ever quite sees eye to eye with him. He wont figure too much at the moment as he has taken time out to be rebuilt. We await the return of the T-2013

Oh I'm sorry, I guess I should introduce myself too. As the narrator of the whole drama, it is only fair that I play my own role in the story too, which I do. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Fred. Ihave a no nonsense approach to work life, and my plain speak way of communicating things. I prefer not to sugar coat things, and just say what I see, which has earned me the nickname of Roy, as in Roy Walker from Catchphrase who always said 'say what you see'. Having worked for the company for a long time now, it is fair to say I am tired of the corporate bullshit, and would love a way out. I am just counting the days.

On top of the regulars in the control room, there are also some occasional visitors into the place.
Lester is the  office donkey, and drafted in from his main job when it suits the management. Keen to please, and always willing to help, Lester never says no, and always brings a little change to the office. Switching the dynamic of the office up a gear, and helping keep the place fresh. As time has passed, Lester has grown bored of his role as donkey, and is keen to shake it and return to his own world soon.

As the drama unfolds here at Dynamic Distribution I am sure you will get to know all the characters well, and meet a few more of the quirky workers her in the control centre.

Until then, sit back, and await the first episode of The Office (London)